FUCKING ALL THE WAY...

Thanks to Focko, the Bavarian nobleman, there exists a small village called Fucking in upper Austria. It has a special meaning for the inhabitants of this hamlet, who are “Focko’s people”; but the tourists take it otherwise jumping to their own vulgar conclusions while clicking photos in front of the “Fucking” road signs. The only crime reported here is the theft of these road signs (mostly by tourists) who keep them as souvenirs. It’s sad, but true, that the best thing about this celestial and picturesque village is, not the lakes, forests and the mountains but, only its name “Fucking”.

One evening, the whole village gathered together to discuss this serious issue. Jokkum, a 10 year old boy with chubby cheeks and curly brown hair put forward his view: which was to simply change the name. Silence fell like a blanket over the village folk. All of a sudden, the head of this little hamlet, Tomas Sorensen, barked ferociously, “Fucking has existed for 800 years now! Everyone here knows what it means in English, but for us Fucking is Fucking — and it’s going to stay Fucking!”

When the local news channel interviewed Aleksander Negaard, the local police chief, about the foreign nationals causing disorder in Fucking, he went berserk proclaiming “ We will not stand for the Fucking signs to be removed. It may be very amusing for you, but Fucking is simply Fucking to us. What is this big Fucking joke!?!”

A wise man used Fucking’s name to his advantage. He opened up a small boutique selling t-shirts with the catchword “I like Fucking in Austria” printed on them. This business venture turned out to be quite profitable for him. Unfortunately it had to be shut down when he started receiving death threats from his own people. The Fucking citizens are very patriotic!!

Few years back Fucking hosted the “Festival of the Fuck Bands”. Forget about U2, Backstreet Boys, Bon Jovi and Greenday. The four bands who performed live were Fucked Up, Holy Fuck, Fuck and Fuck Buttons. What a Fucking way to introduce Fucking to the entire world!!

We’ll I’ve made a little effort and joined fucking hands with the Fucking people to promote Fucking to a certain degree. So next time when your friends or enemies throw profanities at you like “where the fuck are you?”, “what the fuck”, “don’t fuck around with me”, “get the fuck out of here”; you don’t have to take out your gun and shoot them. Instead, just take them on a Fucking trip!!